What two New Films reveal about our search for understanding.

This year, two very different films stepped into the cultural conversation about narcissism.

One is a comedy called, You're Dating a Narcissist!

You're Dating A Narcissist! - Brainstorm Media (2026)

The other is a documentary called, The Narcissist's Playbook.

The Narcissist's Playbook - MARK VICENTE: Director/Cult Whistleblower (2026)



Watch the Official Documentary Preview

(scroll to bottom of that page⤴︎ to find preview video)

Different genres. Different tones.

• But both give a similar warning:

Be careful.

These people exist. Learn how to recognize them. Protect yourself.

And I think that tells us something important about the moment we're living in.

That people are looking for language to understand experiences that felt impossible to explain.

More than a decade ago, after surviving domestic abuse, I went online searching for answers.

I was trying to understand why someone who claimed to love me could also:

• manipulate
• control
• and confuse me in ways I couldn't make sense of

That search eventually introduced me to:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

For the first time, I found descriptions of behaviors that felt painfully familiar.

Not a diagnosis. A framework.

And for survivors, finding that kind of language is the beginning of healing.

But a common criticisms survivors hear is:

"You can't call them a narcissist. You're not qualified to diagnose anyone."

And yes, that's true.

Diagnoses belong to trained professionals.

And survivors are still allowed to name harmful patterns.

They're allowed to talk about:

• manipulation
• gaslighting
• control
• dishonesty
• or emotional cruelty

Without needing to know someone's complete psychological makeup.

A diagnosis belongs to professionals.

• But your lived experience belongs to you.

Finding language is not the same as making a diagnosis.

What fascinates me about these two films is that they tell two different stories about the same fear.

The documentary presents narcissism as a danger that needs to be identified and avoided.

The fictional film offers something more complicated:

• Sometimes we don't actually know who the narcissist is, and
• Sometimes the people who cause the greatest harm are the people we trust most.

And that's what makes harmful relationships so difficult to navigate in real life.

• People who manipulate others don't introduce themselves as "dangerous."

They're usually:

• charming
• generous
• successful
• helpful
• funny
• and deeply loved by their communities

They don't look like monsters.

They usually look totally ordinary.

• Sometimes they even look wonderful.

Until the patterns reveal themselves.

Maybe our fascination with narcissists is really rooted in a fascination with something deeper, like:

• Hidden danger.
• Betrayal.
• Trust.
• And our longing to feel safe in an unpredictable world.

Plenty of survivors have asked themselves the painful question:

• What if I'm the problem?

What If I'm the Narcissist?

• Sometimes this comes from being called a narcissist by an abusive partner.
• Sometimes it comes from recognizing traits in ourselves that we're not proud of.
• And sometimes it comes from a sincere desire to understand who we are and how we move through the world.

The truth is, most human beings will recognize parts of themselves in descriptions of narcissistic behaviors from time to time.

Most of us have been selfish, defensive, immature, jealous, or attention-seeking at different points in our lives.

• Especially when we were younger.
• Especially when we were hurting.
• Especially when we were surviving.

Having unhealthy moments is not the same thing as having a personality disorder.

Trauma responses are not the same thing as manipulation.

Defending yourself is not the same thing as abuse.

Healing asks us to be honest about our patterns while also extending compassion to the versions of ourselves that were doing the best they could with what they knew at the time.

Whether through comedy or documentary, both films ultimately ask the same question:

• How do we protect ourselves from people who might harm us?

But healing gives us a different question:

How do we reconnect with ourselves after we've been harmed?

• Because a label can't guarantee that we'll never experience betrayal.
• No diagnosis can give us absolute certainty about another person's character.

The work of healing is less about becoming experts on dangerous people, and more about becoming experts on ourselves.

• Learning what safety feels like.
• Learning what respect looks like.
• Learning to trust our instincts without abandoning our compassion.

And remembering that while human beings are more complex than any label, our experiences still matter.

The work of healing is learning to trust yourself again.